{"id":454,"date":"2017-09-09T22:16:19","date_gmt":"2017-09-10T01:16:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\/severino\/?p=454"},"modified":"2017-09-10T17:01:37","modified_gmt":"2017-09-10T20:01:37","slug":"mamae-no-mma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\/severino\/mamae-no-mma\/","title":{"rendered":"Mam\u00e3e no MMA"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

\"CBIFOT311220160332\"<\/p>\n

Amanda Nunes e Ronda Housey\/Cr\u00e9dito: Christian Petersen\/Getty Images\/AFP<\/h6>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Severino Francisco<\/h5>\n

 <\/p>\n

Prezadas leitoras, prezados leitores<\/p>\n

que apreciam a arte dos gladiadores<\/p>\n

e gostam de um toque de adrenalina<\/p>\n

queiram sentar-se em suas poltronas<\/p>\n

pois vou desfiar uma fina trama<\/p>\n

com muitos lances de melodrama,<\/p>\n

com\u00e9dia, transe familiar, suspense,<\/p>\n

pancadas, tapas, beijos e nonsense.<\/p>\n

Andr\u00e9ia ficou desesperada<\/p>\n

porque o filho apelidado Jaj\u00e1<\/p>\n

se meteu a ser lutador de MMA.<\/p>\n

Empertigado, 1,90m e muita bossa,<\/p>\n

aos 20 anos, Jaj\u00e1 era casca-grossa<\/p>\n

com uma sa\u00fade de vaca premiada<\/p>\n

capaz de topar qualquer parada<\/p>\n

sem poder reclamar da sorte<\/p>\n

morava com a m\u00e3e na Asa Norte.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"26\/04\/1977.
Asa Norte, Bras\u00edlia. Cr\u00e9dito: Tadashi Nakagomi\/CB\/D.A Press.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tudo corria em um curso regular;<\/p>\n

Jaj\u00e1 gostava de se divertir e de estudar,<\/p>\n

mas, l\u00e1 pelas tantas, um belo dia<\/p>\n

resolveu entrar em uma academia,<\/p>\n

come\u00e7ou a malhar em ritmo pesado<\/p>\n

e a assistir pelas ondas da tev\u00ea<\/p>\n

\u00e0s lutas dram\u00e1ticas do UFC.<\/p>\n

\"LAS
Frankie Edgar e Jos\u00e9 Algo. Rey Del Rio\/Getty Images\/AFP<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

S\u00f3 que, para desespero de Andr\u00e9ia,<\/p>\n

insinuou-se de veneta uma ideia<\/p>\n

que n\u00e3o abandonou mais o pobre Jaj\u00e1:<\/p>\n

“Mam\u00e3e, quero ser lutador de MMA!”<\/p>\n

Andr\u00e9ia \u00e9 uma af\u00e1vel m\u00e3e mineira<\/p>\n

que trabalha fora, cuida da casa,<\/p>\n

lava as roupas e ainda faz a feira;<\/p>\n

que gosta de arte e assa p\u00e3o de queijo,<\/p>\n

e n\u00e3o deixa os filhos sa\u00edrem de sua asa<\/p>\n

sem um abra\u00e7o, um afago e um beijo.<\/p>\n

“Em carinha que mam\u00e3e beijou,<\/p>\n

vagabundo nenhum vai tocar,<\/p>\n

n\u00e3o seja besta, eles v\u00e3o te massacrar”,<\/p>\n

tentou argumentar a sensata Andr\u00e9ia,<\/p>\n

mas Jaj\u00e1 n\u00e3o abdicava da panaceia.<\/p>\n

\"NEW
Anderson Silva e Derek Brunson. Cr\u00e9dito: Anthony Geathers\/Getty Images\/AFP<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ent\u00e3o, ela resolveu pedir a um amigo<\/p>\n

faixa preta e campe\u00e3o de artes marciais<\/p>\n

para que alertasse sobre os perigos reais.<\/p>\n

Todavia, Jaj\u00e1 ignorou o amigo de Andr\u00e9ia,<\/p>\n

por nada renunciava \u00e0 obsessiva ideia<\/p>\n

de reinar soberano no oct\u00f3gno do MMA<\/p>\n

e ouvir Bruce Buffer se esgoelar:<\/p>\n

“In this corner, the champion Jaaaaaj\u00e1!”.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"TORONTO,
Bruce Buffer. Cr\u00e9dito:\u00a0 Vaughn Ridley\/Getty Images\/AFP<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

E de sentir a mulherada assediar:<\/p>\n

“Autografa a minha perna, Jaj\u00e1!”<\/p>\n

Sem saber o que fazer, Andr\u00e9ia<\/p>\n

apelou \u00e0s elevadas inst\u00e2ncias,<\/p>\n

salva\u00e7\u00e3o para a delicada circunst\u00e2ncia,<\/p>\n

se apegando com f\u00e9 a ora\u00e7\u00f5es e a cruz<\/p>\n

tanto implorou que lhe veio secreta luz.<\/p>\n

Ela chamou Jaj\u00e1, fechou o quarto,<\/p>\n

afastou a cama, pegou o sapato<\/p>\n

e avisou: “Hoje, o bicho vai pegar.<\/p>\n

Tenho umas coisinhas a lhe ensinar.<\/p>\n

Repare no guarda-roupa de mogno,<\/p>\n

pois ser\u00e1 o limite do nosso oct\u00f3gno,<\/p>\n

prepare-se porque vou lhe mostrar<\/p>\n

o que vai acontecer no MMA.”<\/p>\n

\"Cr\u00e9dito:
Cr\u00e9dito: Maurenilson Freire\/CB\/D.A Press.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dito isso, ela ficou bastante brava<\/p>\n

e, com o perd\u00e3o da crua palavra,<\/p>\n

encheu Jaj\u00e1 de um festival de porradas,<\/p>\n

tapas, tabefes, safan\u00f5es e pancadas.<\/p>\n

“Mam\u00e3e, o que lhe aconteceu?<\/p>\n

Para, parece que voc\u00ea enlouqueceu.<\/p>\n

Ai, ai, para, sen\u00e3o vai me machucar”,<\/p>\n

gritava e ria, embaixo da bordoada, Jaj\u00e1.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"ANAHEIM,
Cr\u00e9dito: Sean M. Haffey\/Getty Images\/AFP<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Calma, n\u00e3o precisa sentir medo,<\/p>\n

porque em um estalar de dedos<\/p>\n

o que se afigurava uma trag\u00e9dia<\/p>\n

virou uma tremenda com\u00e9dia<\/p>\n

e a chuva de tabefes e pancadas<\/p>\n

terminou em beijos e gargalhadas.<\/p>\n

Os m\u00e9todos e os argumentos incisivos<\/p>\n

de Andr\u00e9ia exerceram efeitos persuasivos<\/p>\n

e o fato \u00e9 que o tem\u00edvel gladiador Jaj\u00e1<\/p>\n

desistiu de ser lutador de MMA.<\/p>\n

Hoje, Andr\u00e9ia vive feliz a propagar:<\/p>\n

“Foi Deus quem me iluminou,<\/p>\n

em carinha que mam\u00e3e beijou,<\/p>\n

vagabundo nenhum vai tocar”.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Brasil.
Sagui-branco com filhote. Cr\u00e9dito: Edson Ges\/CBPress.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Prezadas leitoras, prezados leitores<\/p>\n

que apreciam a arte dos gladiadores<\/p>\n

e gostam de um toque de adrenalina<\/p>\n

queiram sentar-se em suas poltronas<\/p>\n

pois vou desfiar uma fina trama<\/p>\n

com muitos lances de melodrama,<\/p>\n

com\u00e9dia, transe familiar, suspense,<\/p>\n

pancadas, tapas, beijos e nonsense.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":73,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-454","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cronicas"],"yoast_head":"\nMam\u00e3e no MMA - Blog do Severino Francisco<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\/severino\/mamae-no-mma\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mam\u00e3e no MMA - Blog do Severino Francisco\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Prezadas leitoras, prezados leitores que apreciam a arte dos gladiadores e gostam de um toque de adrenalina queiram sentar-se em suas poltronas pois vou desfiar uma fina trama com muitos lances de melodrama, com\u00e9dia, transe familiar, suspense, pancadas, tapas, beijos e nonsense.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\/severino\/mamae-no-mma\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Blog do Severino Francisco\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-09-10T01:16:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-09-10T20:01:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\/severino\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/29\/2017\/09\/CBIFOT311220160332.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Severino\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Escrito por\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Severino\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. tempo de leitura\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutos\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\\\/severino\\\/mamae-no-mma\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\\\/severino\\\/mamae-no-mma\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Severino\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\\\/severino\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/8ec724614980cf1258f9b7d6b5a36419\"},\"headline\":\"Mam\u00e3e no MMA\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-09-10T01:16:19+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2017-09-10T20:01:37+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\\\/severino\\\/mamae-no-mma\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":693,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\\\/severino\\\/mamae-no-mma\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\\\/severino\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/29\\\/2017\\\/09\\\/CBIFOT311220160332.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Cr\u00f4nicas\"],\"inLanguage\":\"pt-BR\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\\\/severino\\\/mamae-no-mma\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\\\/severino\\\/mamae-no-mma\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs2.correiobraziliense.com.br\\\/severino\\\/mamae-no-mma\\\/\",\"name\":\"Mam\u00e3e no MMA - 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